so you think you can dance

I have gotten totally in to the summer show "so you think you can dance". It's the dance version of american idol. And in the interest of showing you all how much of a loser I truly am, every week on Thursday when people are voted off I cry for a good half hour. I'm not a huge fan of the ballroom stuff that they do, but the contemporary, hip hop, Broadway, and jazz stuff they do is incredible. None of you knew me when this was my life, when I wanted to be on Broadway and I lived for singing and dancing. My acting was ok, but that wasn't what I loved. I loved to dance and I loved to sing and I was good at them. I realize that I can't really sing anymore. A few serious bouts of mono and bad life choices killed that. And I was always heavy and the wrong body type for ballet but I still loved it and since I didn't want to be a serious ballet dancer it was ok. I loved the hip hop class I took in high school. We did an awesome routine junior year called Monkey Gumbo that I will never forget. Anyways, I miss my former life on stage. For hours a day I got to pretend to be someone else, got to sing until nothing else mattered, and dance every emotion in my body. The rush of being on stage with those lights blinding you is unreal. The make up, the costumes, the late night rehearsals when we just slept in the theater at school instead of going home for a few hours to sleep before class in the morning. I get to take an intro ballet class to graduate this fall and I'm excited. It should be pretty easy since it's the intro class, but good since it's been 2 yrs since I danced. I really want to keep dancing, I miss it so much. There are a few places in town with adult ballet classes and I'm hoping to be able to take one. We'll see, I did end up chatting with my physical therapist about how I have at least 3 "jobs" besides school and soon to be 4. (in case you were wondering, YWCA, crisis center, babysitting, and probably soon to be helping out in the church office). I think I forget that I'm still a student, or maybe I just have senioritis. Graduation is only 149 days away and then I get to be a big girl!