lesson learned

I'm learning just how much I really am hung up on people pleasing. I am well aware that I need to cut way back on my hours at the pool to do school right now. I tried to chat with my boss, and the result was only dropping 2 hours worth of lessons instead of the 6 I needed to drop. I am the main swimming instructor, have been there longest, and am the only one with my WSI certification, and I feel bad telling them I can't work as much. They're trying to get all the new hires trained and schedules filled, and it's no secret that I'm the reliable employee. I'm trying to just be compliant and do everything so that everyone likes me, but I just can't. On my run this morning as I thought it all over, I realized that for the first time I actually don't want to do everything. I'm usually too busy because I want to do it all, but not this time. I want to have some freedom, some flexibility, somewhat of a life beyond all my commitments. I want to be able to help out friends with things because I want to show them that I love them and that they're important to me without thinking about what I'm going to have to skip today to make it work. I just want a normal balanced life! I'm reaching the breaking point really quick, I really don't know how many more days I can keep this schedule up.