facing fears

Today was a day of facing fears. The first time a teacher has called on me and I honestly didn't know the answer and had to admit out loud to the class that I didn't know. Calling my sports medicine dr. to get my knees looked at, which is tomorrow morning btw. This was a big one, one that took months for me to do. I'm just so scared that it will be like last summer where I don't think anything major is wrong, but really it's something big that will never really be better. And praying out loud. This one seems silly, but if you knew the intense fear that comes over me and how hard I want to get words out but can't make my mouth open, you'd understand how big this was. It may have been one line that Sarah took 10 minutes coaxing out of me, but I did it. And my swim lesson kids faced fears today too. Marleigh swam freestyle half way across the pool by herself, Emily did her exit skills to pass to L4 even though she kept telling me she never could, and Joshua jumped in without me holding on to him. It was a day of big stuff. I'm worn out from the emotional hype and my head is full of thoughts that I really just need to hit the road with and run out. But I did 28 miles on the bike today and am way to tired to run, plus it's dark.