"reading your mail"

I had a "reading your mail" moment in lifegroup tonight. Well, I call it reading your mail when someone else tells you exactly what's going on in your heart when you haven't said a word to anyone. Well, Haley was so scared to share that she thought I might be feeling lonely, which is totally true. I'm just struggling with being at a different life stage than all of my friends and finding ways to relate to them. Anyways, I'm getting some prayer, thinking that I'm feeling so numb and I don't really want to listen to God because I'm afraid of what I might get. And Julie starts praying about something totally unrelated to loneliness, then hits the nail on the head. I have been really struggling with spending time with God lately. It usually consists of me collapsing into bed each night crying and all I can get out is help me, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have been really struggling with reading my Bible or spending any real time in prayer because I feel so overwhelmed with how wrong everything is and I don't want to keep finding things that are wrong with me. I've been really discouraged at life group the past 2 months as we are reading "naturally supernatural" because it's full of amazing stories, and our life group is full of amazing stories. Well, I have no amazing stories and I never seem to hear anything from God or have anything to say. Another what's wrong with me or I don't fit in moment. Anyways, Julie pretty much summed that up for me, which of course was good. I spent a long time talking with Lauren tonight about everything. Really, I have got to start reading my Bible again and spending time in prayer, even if I'm scared. God loves me and is full of grace, compassion and mercy. He's not waiting for me to screw things up so he can point it out. Amazing how much things get twisted up in our heads when we don't say anything about them.