rough morning

Today's been a rough day. The blisters on my heels still hurt a lot, but a friend of mine who's a dancer did hook me up with some pretty awesome blister bandaids. But still, day #2 without running. I'm hopeful for tomorrow. Since I still couldn't run I slept in again. I had the worst last night reliving some moments from my Sr. year on the swim team. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but I woke up in an awful mood that I still haven't shaken. I was actually mad in the shower about something that happened like 4 years ago. Talk about petty. My foot has been killing me the last 2 days. I have pretty bad arthritis in the joint behind my big toe from walking around with stress fractures for so long. It hasn't been bothering me too much the last few months, and I worked with a great pain management therapist who taught me some good ways to deal with the pain without meds. But the last few days it hurts so much just to move my toe or put pressure on the joint. So lots of ice and time to practice my pain management skills. And now I need to go have my TB test read, and it's just barely swollen and has a big red circle around it. My roommate who's a nursing student looked at it and said that it's like almost a positive test. I'm just nervous because I have to have it read by the health department, and they tend to be pretty unforgiving. So we'll see. I don't think it helps their confidence that when I got my test I was coughing still from when I was sick 2 weeks ago. We'll see. At least I get to meet with Emily today, that will brighten things up for me.

great night, iffy morning

Yesterday was awesome. I ran with a deer, got to hang out with Sarah for a bit, teach my favorite swim lesson, and hang out at girls night. Girls night was great, I got to hang out with some church ladies that I don't know as well, and had a great time. I was so bummed that I had to leave early, but I had so much homework to finish. Don't worry, I got most of it done. I even got to sleep before 11.

This morning was iffy. I got really bad blisters on my feet yesterday, and before I went to bed I did a good job cleaning them and putting goo on them with bandaids. I got out of bed to run, put my socks on, went to slide my foot into my shoe, and the tears started coming. I couldn't even get my foot in the shoes, much less try to run in them. So I had to suck it up and not run today, I settled for some pilates and going back to bed for a bit. I hate not being able to run, I feel all gross and lazy. But oh well. Then in both classes we watched films so I was really sleepy, and I didn't understand one of them. No worries though, this day is bound to get better, a few hours of homework, work for a bit, then lifegroup tonight is doing some work at matrix lifeline. It should be a blast.

I did decide what to do about the bridesmaid dress situation. I'm going to get it a size smaller and in a petite. Hopefully then I won't have to shorten the straps, and the torso of the dress was a little long so hopefully this fixes the problems. I'm really excited to wear it, it's so pretty!

pretty things

I got my bridesmaid dress for Lauren's wedding today! It's a little big, so I'm gonna have mom look at it to see if she can alter it for me, or if I should exchange it for a smaller size. It's gorgeous, and silky and super comfortable. It's going to have a silk sash the same color as the lighter pink to make it extra pretty. And black close toed shoes. I can't wait!

Another pretty thing, totally a gift from God this morning. I was grumpy and thinking about how ugly of a day it was with all the rain while I was running, and then.....this deer ran out from between two houses and ran next to me for probably like 100 ft, then ran into the woods on the other side. It was unreal and completely amazing. If you've ever read Captivating, Stasi talk about how God romances us through things like this. It was great, thank you Jesus!

TB test

All is patched up with my boss. To make her happy I went and got my TB test done today since we are supposed to have it done by the end of June. It was a big deal. I have had 3 since I started college, because my major requires them a lot. The trick is that I've passed out every time. I'm not afraid of needles at all, I've stuck my own IV in my arm, and my doctor lets me give myself my own shots. I don't like other people sticking me, so I have to watch closely to be sure they do it right. With TB tests, they stick it right under your skin and squirt the stuff in so it forms a bubble. It's watching the bubble form that makes me pass out. So anyways, I was hesitant to go with my recent few weeks of dizziness. But I went, and took one of the girls with me just in case. And I didn't pass out so yay me! And all is reconciled with the boss, the schedule is worked out, and life is looking a little brighter.

old testament

I have a hard time reading the Old Testament. I like to pick and choose what I read, the good stories like Genesis and Exodus, Job, Daniel, and Ruth, and of course Psalms and Proverbs. I've been reading 1, 2 Samuel lately, and remembering why I have such a hard time reading this stuff. I am so confused about how everyone kills people. Seriously, in what I read today in 2 Sam 7 like thousands and thousands of people died. Why, why is that necessary and what good did it do, and where did God fit in? I know life was different then, living under the Law, but what's with all the needless killing? At times I think it would have been awesome to live back then and see all of the huge miracles and hear God speak to you so loud and clear. But I am glad to be living in grace, miracles still happen, God still speaks, and the crazy kill everyone sprees are fewer and far between. But seriously, can anyone shed some light on the territorial killing sprees of the Old Testament? What are we supposed to take from that, what do we learn about God's character or how to do life from that? Right now all I feel is sad for all the kids whose parents died and were orphaned.

dream

I have a new dream. I am loving running, and today I feel like I made the switch from "I run" to "I'm a runner". A super hard interval set made the switch in my head. And I like being a runner. I like training, I love the feeling of pushing myself as hard as possible every day. Tomorrow is my rest day, and I'm dreading it. I don't like rest days, but I have to take them because it's good for me. I have 3 races I want to run before Christmas. Lady Distance Classic (10K) Aug 4th, Indianapolis Marathon Oct 20, and Thanksgiving Day Race (10k) Nov 22. My doable goal for the marathon is to finish under 4 hours. That's averaging around 9 minute miles, and I really do think I can do that, my slowest race was the half marathon in '05 and we averaged around 8:40 miles if I remember right. My dream goal is to finish under 3:40. Why 3:40 you ask? Because that's the qualifying time for Boston. My goal is to qualify and run Boston sometime in my life. How cool would it be to qualify in my first full marathon? I think it would be pretty darn cool. Here's a pic from the last race I ran, don't I look happy? Freezing cold because it was in November, but happy and excited.

family

Today I'm reflecting on what is family, who is my family? We discuss it in classes all the time, and usually I think that if I have to talk about what is family one more time I will quit school. But seriously, what is a family. I really do think that family is more than your blood relatives, but what makes someone part of your family and not just a good friend? Today I'm thinking that I have lots of different families. I have the family I was born in to, and I love them a lot. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, they all count. They're my family even if I haven't seen them in years. But my family is bigger than that. I consider my roommates part of my family. I depend on them for so much, I would drop anything for them, and they would drop anything for me. Who else would think to celebrate half birthdays just for a chance to show someone that you love them. And I consider the people at church part of my family. That's a new and different kind of family. I've never really known a group of people like the ones at RVC, but I love it and I love being a part of that family. So does my family really include my relatives, roommates, and church? Man that's a big family. The more the merrier though. I like being a part of lots of different families.